Sitting here with the hollow men
Discussing the finer points of things agains
Various lasses over copious glasses
Wearing bewilderment of failed mountain climbers

My poor friends have been through this before
The garish windows, the big red doors
Every sentence has her name
I open my mouth and it’s like torrential rain

but…

Let me tell you all about her
And her blue smile
Let me tell you all about her
As you roll your eyes

Dear girl that used to catch the 413 to Campsie with me back in the end of Primary school, I had such a crush on you.

I was like 10, and in love. You would get on the bus a couple of stops before me, every day with a different book. How did you ever read so fast? And we would get off at the same stop, and after a few weeks we used to look at eachother when our stop came up to see who would get to the buzzer first.

And after that we became friends of a sort, and I would walk you home then walk to mine. I met your mum and your sister, and then primary school finished and that was that. I bumped into you a few times after that.

There was one time when I was working at the local record store at the mall, Christmas Eve, and you were my last customer. You just came in, asking for a CD, and I didn’t know what to say. It was a nice little end to a good year.

And you looked great, and I ended up being taller than you which I took as a major victory on my part.

anyway, I love(d) you.

Tim Rogers

Would you settle for a mobile home,
A good record store and a public phone?

(yes, I think I would)

I’m not holding on
To something that I know is gone
I just can’t see you with anybody else

I don’t want your time
Girl that’s not what’s on my mind
I just can’t see you with anybody else

Pete Wilson

Jesus, he don’t return my calls
He don’t mean much to me anymore

Good of you to call
You know I wish I could
But that’s the way I was

So don’t wait up
Or hold on
Just move on
And maybe someday who knows I might even catch up.

Build a building by the bay
Climb a cliff of coloured caves
Dare to die in damp decay
Fall in fancy footed fate
Grapple with goners green and grey
Hope to heavens to help hold hate
Just a jewel in jester’s jade
Keep a in king kit a kiss okay
Lose a level left of lonely
Make money on Mexican merchants
Now nearer to never notwithstanding
Place passing people in pictures
Queue the queen for questioning
Roast a rabbit in ruins
Signal the soldiers something simple
Teach the timid to tackle terror
Visit various visual vectors
Work well in winter with warriors
Yes to yesterday’s year
Zip the zeigeist at zero zenith

Trembling along like an cup in a quake
I steady myself wth a smile that’s a fake
I’m spinning around like planets in space
Grabbing onto a passing phase

The foundations seem to shudder
No foreman would pass this muster
Seems all I say is filibuster
And my actions lackluster

Shoes seem to be falling off my feet
And made off with what’s left of peace
Light bulbs glow but I can’t see
Anything I can believe

And maybe it’s all maybes
Nothing’s written down and nothing’s as it seems

And I’m sorry
Your dreams did not come true

Imaginary interview with myself

Q: so why don’t you drink?

Short answer: Just sort of never had, and just kept with it

Long answer: That’s such an odd question to me. I ask you…why drink? Or, what are the reasons people drink? Because I’ve never understood any reason to ring true.

Q: To socialise?

WM: I socialise. And why do you need a chemical to socialise?

Q: It helps. It facilitates. It relaxes you.

WM: Shouldn’t you learn those skills anyway? If you have a problem talking to people without alcohol, you still have a problem.

Q: It helps to get rid of inhibitions.

WM: well, again. Same deal. Should alcohol really be solving your personality problems? Maybe problems is not the right word…

Q: It helps people witha self esteem boost?

WM: Are those the people who need a war to feel better about themselves? Try eating more carrots. That also applies to people who use alcohol to help their confidence.

Q: To land a root?

WM: That’s true. You can also pay directly for that and not drink.

Q: It’d be a strange world. It’d be one big year 9 dance. Everyone would be awkward and untalkative.

WM: It’s a funny thought but I don’t think that’s true. Also, it’s not for everybody.

Q: You’re not against alcohol?

WM: I’m not against any drug. Or at least, anyone’s choice to use any drug. That’s up to them. But I do find it saddening to see drug dependency. And drugs being used on a regular basis to make a person feel a certain way that they could get to without drugs.

Q: So how do you feel about drinkers?

WM: I treat them the same as anyone I know. In fact it’s almost everyone I know anyway. I’ve only met one person who doesn’t drink, for similar political (little “p”) reasons.

Q: you don’t look down on them?

WM: No. I smoke. To tell someone not to take drugs is hypocritical. I’ve never in my life told anyone they should stop drinking. Ever. Not once. But people think that because I don’t drink, that I judge them. It’s threatening.

Q: Is being casually threatening deliberate?

WM: No. That’s not the reason I’m open about it. The reason I’m open about it is, maybe, one day, like a friend of mine’s kid might feel like not getting smashed and his friends are doing it every night or every week, and he might ask his dad about it, and he might go, well I know this guy who never drank and he still managed to go out and have fun times and things. It’s not that important.

Q: Do you? Do you go out and have fun?

WM: I’m not the happiest person in the world, but I can easily let myself go and be all giddy and silly on a night out. It’s a bit frustrating when people then say I’m drunk. Having fun just equals being drunk in this day and age. But people will always want to knock you down and make you seem not that different to them.

Q: Do people knock you down?

WM: Yes. People are always trying to get me to drink. My usual response now is “only if you suck my cock.” But I expect it. I am trying to be different, in a time and age where that’s frowned upon.

Q: Not really. Lots of people don’t drink.

WM: No, I don’t think that’s true. And not all for political reasons. It’s like being a vegetarian. It’s a lifestyle choice. How many people do you know who’ve done that? I’ve only ever met one other person, like I said. I imagine it’s one in ten thousand at least. Maybe more. That sounds arrogant, to say I’m different to so many people. People think that means I’m saying I’m better, or more elite, than the average Joe. Well, I’m not. We’re all different. But I understand it’s threatening

Q: What do you say to someone who says they are not going to drink anymore?

WM: It’s up to them. I hope they are making the right choice for them. I don’t encourage people to follow my lead at all. Don’t stop drinking cos you’re my friend or girlfriend, just to get my approval or something. Cos you’ll turn around and one day when you drink again, your actions will be tied to someone you once knew. “I didn’t drink cos I had this boyfriend who didn’t drink.” That belittles it. Do it if it’s right for you. If not, then don’t.

Q: but you just went on and on about why people shouldn’t drink.

WM: Did I? Well, those are the reasons I don’t drink. I don’t think I’m going to change the world on this one, but I feel it’s important to hold my ground.

Q: I need a drink after all this.

WM: I need a smoke.