Imaginary interview with myself

Q: so why don’t you drink?

Short answer: Just sort of never had, and just kept with it

Long answer: That’s such an odd question to me. I ask you…why drink? Or, what are the reasons people drink? Because I’ve never understood any reason to ring true.

Q: To socialise?

WM: I socialise. And why do you need a chemical to socialise?

Q: It helps. It facilitates. It relaxes you.

WM: Shouldn’t you learn those skills anyway? If you have a problem talking to people without alcohol, you still have a problem.

Q: It helps to get rid of inhibitions.

WM: well, again. Same deal. Should alcohol really be solving your personality problems? Maybe problems is not the right word…

Q: It helps people witha self esteem boost?

WM: Are those the people who need a war to feel better about themselves? Try eating more carrots. That also applies to people who use alcohol to help their confidence.

Q: To land a root?

WM: That’s true. You can also pay directly for that and not drink.

Q: It’d be a strange world. It’d be one big year 9 dance. Everyone would be awkward and untalkative.

WM: It’s a funny thought but I don’t think that’s true. Also, it’s not for everybody.

Q: You’re not against alcohol?

WM: I’m not against any drug. Or at least, anyone’s choice to use any drug. That’s up to them. But I do find it saddening to see drug dependency. And drugs being used on a regular basis to make a person feel a certain way that they could get to without drugs.

Q: So how do you feel about drinkers?

WM: I treat them the same as anyone I know. In fact it’s almost everyone I know anyway. I’ve only met one person who doesn’t drink, for similar political (little “p”) reasons.

Q: you don’t look down on them?

WM: No. I smoke. To tell someone not to take drugs is hypocritical. I’ve never in my life told anyone they should stop drinking. Ever. Not once. But people think that because I don’t drink, that I judge them. It’s threatening.

Q: Is being casually threatening deliberate?

WM: No. That’s not the reason I’m open about it. The reason I’m open about it is, maybe, one day, like a friend of mine’s kid might feel like not getting smashed and his friends are doing it every night or every week, and he might ask his dad about it, and he might go, well I know this guy who never drank and he still managed to go out and have fun times and things. It’s not that important.

Q: Do you? Do you go out and have fun?

WM: I’m not the happiest person in the world, but I can easily let myself go and be all giddy and silly on a night out. It’s a bit frustrating when people then say I’m drunk. Having fun just equals being drunk in this day and age. But people will always want to knock you down and make you seem not that different to them.

Q: Do people knock you down?

WM: Yes. People are always trying to get me to drink. My usual response now is “only if you suck my cock.” But I expect it. I am trying to be different, in a time and age where that’s frowned upon.

Q: Not really. Lots of people don’t drink.

WM: No, I don’t think that’s true. And not all for political reasons. It’s like being a vegetarian. It’s a lifestyle choice. How many people do you know who’ve done that? I’ve only ever met one other person, like I said. I imagine it’s one in ten thousand at least. Maybe more. That sounds arrogant, to say I’m different to so many people. People think that means I’m saying I’m better, or more elite, than the average Joe. Well, I’m not. We’re all different. But I understand it’s threatening

Q: What do you say to someone who says they are not going to drink anymore?

WM: It’s up to them. I hope they are making the right choice for them. I don’t encourage people to follow my lead at all. Don’t stop drinking cos you’re my friend or girlfriend, just to get my approval or something. Cos you’ll turn around and one day when you drink again, your actions will be tied to someone you once knew. “I didn’t drink cos I had this boyfriend who didn’t drink.” That belittles it. Do it if it’s right for you. If not, then don’t.

Q: but you just went on and on about why people shouldn’t drink.

WM: Did I? Well, those are the reasons I don’t drink. I don’t think I’m going to change the world on this one, but I feel it’s important to hold my ground.

Q: I need a drink after all this.

WM: I need a smoke.

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