Leaps And Bounds

09
Aug
2010

30 for 30: Yum Cha

categories: food

30 for 30 – as I reach my fourth decade of being, I’m writing about some of the things that made the three that came before what they were. 30 – mostly trivial – things that have been a part of 30 – mostly trivial – years.

12. YUM CHA

070708yumcha021 — Some Yum Cha dishes - l-r: Spinach & Nuts Dumpling, Spare Ribs, Siu Mai, Har Gau and some Cheung Phun up front

I am a big fan of Yum Cha – it’s my favourite type of food. In the US and the UK it’s known as Dim Sum.

—

Why the two terms? I have no idea either – but I can tell you what each one means.

“Yum Cha” literally means “Drink Tea”. Tea being a big part of this kind of eating. Basically, Chinese (or specifically Cantonese) people will say “let’s drink tea” and it will mean let’s go to a Yum Cha.

“Dim Sum” means the dumpling things that make up a bulk of the meal. Har Gau, Siu Mai etc.

If I have to hazard a guess, Yum Cha is tied to the experience. In Hong Kong, Yum Cha places are used like cafes. People will meet up over a tea, a small amount of dishes, and carry on with their day. Even teenagers after school might stop in for a snack. Which is why outside of the US and UK, Yum Cha is used. The whole dining experience is where you can get this kind of food.

In the US and UK however, there is an abundance of choice. And if people wanted those types of dumplings and things, they would ask for Dim Sum, and maybe at places other than Yum Cha places. Also, the lack of trolleys, the way the cost is worked out, all differs from the traditional Hong Kong experience.

That is just a guess, anyway.

For my purposes, I’m calling it Yum Cha. So many things are not technically Dim Sum, and it’s the whole dining, and this whole Chinese Food subculture, that interests me.

—

It is fun for me to see how places spell Yum Cha foods. I’ve seen various variations. It is confusing for me, and confusing for my friends who don’t speak Chinese. I’ll use the ones I see the most often.

Here are my favourite things to eat at Yum Cha.

Siu Mai (Wikipedia calls it Shumai – sounds nothing like the actual words.) and Har Gau. Siu Mai is the pork dumpling in a yellow wrap. Har Gau is the prawn dumpling in the white, almost clear skin. It is pretty much essential to have these fantastic dishes at every Yum Cha experience.

Har Gau and Siu Mai must have actually gotten married at some point. They are always tied together. They are sold together. Always in the same trolley. The ladies yell out “Har Gau, Siu Mai” even if there’s other things in the trolley. If they yell out more, these two still get top billing. They are the Lennon and McCartney of Yum Cha. I’m not quite sure why they go together, but they do. They are delicious. I love them.

Then there’s Cheung Phun (literally, “sausage noodle”). Three strips of soft wide noodle, wrapped around beef, prawns or pork. There are other variations and they are stupid. Dollop on a lot of soy sauce and you are off. You know you have gotten chopsticks down when you can chop these babies in half. There is a lightly fried version too.

So most people like those, easy to eat things. My next favourites are a bit weirder. Steamed Spare Ribs and Fung Jiao (i.e. Chicken feet). So they might look scary to some – and they take a bit of effort, but are so worth it. Essentially, you strip the meat off the bone in your mouth, then spit of the bones. Not something to do on a date, then. But the steamed meat falls off the bones, and the sauces are delicious. Having lots of friends who don’t like these dishes mean more for me.

Lucky for my British friends that I have not been able to find the Mixed Cow Tripe Stew. The most disgusting looking bits of cow stomach, liver, intestine, in the best sauce. A favourite of my Dad’s and mine, many Sundays have been spent stuffing our faces whilst my Mum looks on, slightly disapprovingly.

With those standards out of the way, the rest is usually what tickles my fancy on the day. Steamed Meatballs are a great, simple dish. The Sticky Rice that comes wrapped in leaves is great when you’re really hungry. In London, there is usually other dumplings to try.

I usually ignore anything that is deep fried. I’ve never been a big fan of Congee, which I guess can be called a savoury rice porridge. The popular Char Siu Bao – roast pork buns – are great, but I usually don’t bother with them either. This is mainly because all kids love them, and I want to feel like I’ve grown up and eating the more complicated stuff. It’s the shadow of my Dad there.

Don’t forget the Tea, too. There are lots of different types of tea – and I know none of them. My Mum has somehow taken the role of tea chooser in our family. The waiter asks, and we all look to Mum. I’ve asked her why she chooses certain ones (“I wanted something sweeter”, “I don’t feel like something strong”), but for me, tea is just something to wash down the chili sauce. My tongue at Yum Cha doesn’t really deal with subtleties.

Deserts are an uncommon treat for me. I almost never have them. But who doesn’t love a good Egg Tart? Kylie loved these Pastry Balls In Cinnamon. The various jellies on offer look, even at the best places, shit. Why would you go to Yum Cha to have Jelly?

—

Growing up, you would wait for Sundays because more often than not, those were Yum Cha days. Sometimes just my family, sometimes with another family and heck, sometimes just me and Dad. We would travel far and wide for the best places, driving for hours. We’d get there early, get our ticket number and wait.

It strikes me that Yum Cha is a lot about waiting. It is, really, one of the least efficient ways to eat. For those who have never seen it, the real way to Yum Cha is to have ladies with trolleys of food running around the tables. So the food is sitting around getting a bit cold. It takes ages for the food to actually get to you, and as an impatient kid you’d be looking around for that damn Cheung Phun lady to come around already. And imagine how many more tables they could fit in without needing those trolley lanes.

That said, having had eaten at places when you order, it’s no fun having no trolleys. It just feels like a meal. You want to marvel at what is in those trolleys. It’s almost like a strip bar – you wave a lady down and ask her to show you what she’s got.

Yum Cha ladies are either horrifically unattractive or look like a 15 year old girl in a Manga. There’s no middle ground. It’s completely sexist. In thirty years I have never, ever, seen a male Yum Cha Trolley Attendant. I thought at one point I would like to be the first – a pioneer – and maybe Sean Penn can play me in the movie of my life.

James and I suspected as kids that the men who worked in Yum Cha places were actually Ninjas. The way they set a table is pretty amazing. Take a 3 metre wide circular table, and one guy can lay out all the cups and bowls, thrown from one spot. Seeing a group of them working as a team is like watching the London Philharmonic just fucking nailing it. It also makes sense that Ninjas would need a day job and it would be a decent cover. I am still waiting for that Jackie Chan movie where he crashes a Yum Cha place, and the waiters turn into Ninjas. Called Yum Cha Ninja. This shit writes itself.

Tash made a very good point about Yum Cha a couple of years ago that has stuck with me. She never knows how much she is paying. Payment is a piece of paper with Chinese words, and a whole bunch of stamps. There’s no correlation between what you ate and what is on the sheet. There is no indication of how much each dish costs. My Dad knows a lot of cooks and manages to wrangle a discount. The discount is in the form of some dude scribbling his name on the form. I looked at one once and thought – yeah, never paying full price here again. He just wrote a fancy letter ‘S’.

(UPDATE: James points out that discounts are always free tea, not an actual percentage discount.)

—

Sydney Yum Cha is so great, it’s hard to pick a favourite based on food. There are some famous ones – Marigold on Sussex Street, the one above Market City. But my favourite one is one I don’t know the name of. It’s at the north end of Dixon Street in Chinatown. There is a Chinese Pagoda, and you have to walk through it and up the escalator.

It’s a Yum Cha restaurant that lives next to pokies. It looks like an RSL. It has the cheapest décor you can imagine. But I like it’s simplicity. There are very few non Chinese people around, or tourist rabble. Just genuine, proper Yum Cha. And yes, we should definitely go one day.

London seems to have given up on trolley service, mainly. The one place that still has it is New World in Chinatown. I am there every second or third Sunday.

But most places, you have to order from the menu. The food is alright. They’ve also introduced some fancy cooking – chef’s special dumplings etc. I try to care, but it’s hard. Then there’s Yau-At-Cha, renowned chef Alan Yau’s deluxe Yum Cha restaurant. (This) Yau invented Wagamamas. Yau-At-Cha is the only Michelin star place I’ve ever been too that didn’t involve work (and I only went twice with work). It cost Jo and I around £80 each and it wasn’t that great.

Then there’s Ping Pong, a chain Dim Sum place. Not even close to the Yum Cha experience. On Sundays that have Dim Sumdays – £16.50 for all you can eat. Dan Ryan reckons he was once in a table of 8 and destroyed 83 dishes. We tried to repeat it and got to 79. Although I blame Lou for ordering vegetables and was too busy actually talking and being nice.

—

Like I said earlier, Yum Cha is a family thing. I’m amazed how many of my friends love it though. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. And I love taking people and showing them how it’s done. It’s amazing how they see it though. For some people, it’s their hangover cure. And it works.

Lately, I go on my own. Must be weird for the people at New World on a busy Sunday. Me, a book, table for one, thanks. It’s always the dream. No filler, no sharing. Just the dishes I want, and not only being able to have one of each thing. It takes up so much time so it’s perfect reading time.

Hopefully by the time I’m 60, and I revisit these blogs, I will have introduced my own family to this stuff. Trolley culture has not died off completely. I’m still able to have the odd meal on my own. And maybe, if we as a planet are really lucky, they will finally settle on a name and just call in Yum Cha all over the world.

Dim Sum my arse.

03
Aug
2010

30 for 30: Guitars

categories: music

11. GUITARS

Kurt Cobain with a Fender Mustang guitar

I play guitar, and have done so for fifteen years. I have owned several over the course of my life.

—

My first guitar was a Fernandes Les Paul. Now, Les Paul guitars are usually made by Gibson – Fernandes was some knock-off company.

I only got the guitar because Neil Finn played a similar one. It broke down a lot, and it was very heavy. At this point, I thought all guitars were this heavy. Trying to do jumps and rock moves were very hard. I didn’t realise Pete Townshend’s Rickenbackers were a lot lighter.

I did my first ever gigs, in high school, with it. In my first ever band – Parker. But the guitar was just a pain. I don’t think I ever even sold it, and it’s likely at the bottom of the stairs at my parent’s home.

—

My second guitar was my first acoustic. It’s a lot easier to practise on an acoustic as you don’t need an amp. My poor parents put up with me and my amp for long enough.

I don’t even remember the brand of this guitar (maybe Takamine). The cool thing about it was it was black – not like ordinary wood colour – a la Johnny Cash.

It was an ok guitar. It did the job. But by then I was playing around Sydney a bit and needed a decent guitar. I was also about to meet Casey, who knew more about guitars than anyone I ever met. I sold this nameless acoustic to the drummer of some band I was in that went nowhere.

And I never bought another bad guitar again.

—

My first proper guitar is still my favourite guitar. Maybe there is something in that – maybe she’s affected how I feel about guitars. She’s a Maton EB808 – with no cutaway or pickup.

I was never a great guitar player, but I loved playing this guitar. I know a lot friends who learnt guitar in their teens and 20s and have given up save the occasional strum. And they always have average guitars. A cheap Yamaha or something.

This guitar cost me almost every cent I ever saved up to that point. I never bought ANYTHING even a quarter of the price. And she was totally worth it.

Again, I decided to buy it because Neil Finn uses it. It’s slightly smaller than a normal guitar (three-quarter size) but it sounds rich and full. There’s no strap bolt where the neck of the guitar meets the body, so you need to strap it to the headstock – old school 60s Dylan style.

I think every musically hearted person just needs to find their right instrument. This Maton EB808 is mine. I learnt everything cool on her. Finger picking, Travis picking, harmonics, odd tunings and more. My guitar playing got a lot better very quickly. I wrote my first ever songs with her.

It’s with her that I started my practise of putting stickers on guitars. I know some people who think this is horrific. For me – I figure I’m never going to sell them. I liked customizing my guitars. So this Maton EB808 is covered in stickers of bands that I’ve collected from many years. And it’s something I did to all my guitars.

I also had to get a pickup installed (A pick-up is the bit of electronics that’s added to this essentially wooden box, so you can plug it into an amp). Jeff worked at Maton at the time so it was sent to the proper factory for a proper Maton pickup system. It’s a little thing, but it now means you can’t find one in a shop quite like mine – no cutaway AND a pick-up.

This will be my last possession on earth. The one thing I would save in a fire. Please bury me with this guitar. It is, in short, the most important physical item I have in the entire world. What else would it be if not a guitar?

—

My first decent electric was a reissue of the ’69 Fender Thinline Telecaster. Small, thin – it’s like a spear or a machine gun. It’s a very sexy guitar.

As usual, these were bought because heroes had it. This time, both Sloan and the Posies played 69 Teles in photos. I had no real idea about electric guitars at the time, but I was learning. And I knew I wanted to sound like Sloan and the Posies.

(Photos are, of course, misleading. Who knows why they are playing a guitar live, and if it has anything to do with their recordings. Annoying case in point was the Zombies, where the front of their box set Zombie Heaven, has Chris White holding a Gibson SG bass. But that amazing bassline in Care Of Cell 44 was played on a Fender P-bass. False advertising, I say)

I still have this electric guitar and it’s the electric I’ve used the most. Telecasters are such well used guitars – they are work horses. They are tough to break – and tough to sound shit. They were light and I battered mine around, sometimes hitting it on things to make sounds.

It’s my favourite electric guitar. I’ve flirted with other things, but this is the meat-and-potatoes of electric guitars for me. I’ve bought other guitars for strange or particular sounds. But 99% of what I like can be used on this fantastic guitar.

—

Before I got pickups in my Maton EB808, I needed to get an acoustic guitar I could use to play live. For reasons unknown, I decided to buy a whole new guitar. A Maton 325.

The Maton 325 is the guitar that everyone in Australia has. Maton being an Australian company, and the 325 being the entry level model. It’s a very good guitar, but nothing special. It’s good to have a spare but I could live without it.

I have no idea why Maton calls their guitars crap things like 325. How good are names like Stratocaster and Mustang? I have the same problem with companies like Nokia and their 4410s, 5510s, 8847s and crap like that. Just idiotic.

—

Chris Murphy of Sloan with a Mustang Bass (cherry red with racing stripes)

At some point, I realised I was never going to be a great guitar player, so I decided to go wide. I bought a piano, a drum kit, and even cooler – a Fender Mustang Bass.

Again, it’s a small body bass – bass guitars are usually big and cumbersome. But I found the Mustang to be very playable, and it sounded great.

I chose the Mustang bass because, again, Sloan used one. The Rolling Stones also had one – but both had these cherry red coloured ones with two yellow racing stripes. I couldn’t find one of those, so I bought a simple white one, and used it for years.

My band always had problems finding bassplayers and there was times I’d play bass. Then Lazy Susan needed a bass player and I took it up very seriously. I often think that I am actually a bass player – I love everything about bass.

Playing bass opened up my musicianship as well. I got to play for a variety of bands that needed a fill-in guy. From the blissful Australian rock of Modern Giant, the clever indie of Arbuckle, punk bar band Free Beer, the fiddly and melodic songwriting of Bryan Estepa, and the weird tunings but stunning songs of Josh Pyke. With guitar I have a style (I call it Teenage Fanclub), but with bass I’m a confident soloist and versatile.

I did eventually find a cherry red one with those all important racing stripes – and I sold my white one to Joel. After my Maton EB808, this is my favourite musical instrument. I can not wait to get back to Australia and become a bass player properly. Who wants me?

—

I was gigging so much at one point, I decided I needed a spare electric guitar. Because I was in love my with Mustang bass, I got a Fender Mustang guitar. Bright blue and has racing stripes. Mustang guitars are the sexiest guitars in my book.

It’s kind of a weird guitar. It’s got a particular, jagged sound. Similar guitars are favoured by Elvis Costello and Kurt Cobain. It’s an attack guitar – and I wrote some very nasty songs on her.

Unlike the Tele, this guitar is odd. That oddness led to an amazing moment for me. My friends, Red Riders, supported the Shins, and they let me guitar tech so I could meet them. I got my records signed and they noticed my guitar, and asked if they could try it. So there I was, Sydney’s Metro theatre, wacthing the Shins play amazingly with my guitar.

—

I must have been earning too much money at one point. I went guitar crazy. I ended up buying a 12 string Rickenbacker 330 off eBay. It’s what George Harrison uses in A Hard Day’s Night, the Byrds on Mr Tambourine Man and so many more. This was a weird colour too – cherry red with black details.

This was a mistake. I never used the thing. I spent more time tuning it than playing it. 12 string guitars are a pain. The sounds it makes don’t interest me – but I had to learn that. I sold it when I left Australia. It was a cool guitar to own, but it was not a guitar I loved.

I also acquired a Fender Lap Steel. Why? No idea. I thought I’d learn. I can make sounds on it, but I know nothing about playing it. It’s very cool though – it came in a very cool case. I thought about selling it, but now I think I will spend some time learning this instrument. It might take, it might not. We’ll see.

—

When I decided to stay in London, I bought a guitar. I went down to the legendary Denmark Street and played around on several guitars. In the end I decided on an Art & Lutherie Ami. It is again quite small – the size of an old fashion parlour guitar – and blue. Again, no pick-up and I am looking at getting one installed.

It’s covered with stickers now – when I travel, I buy a sticker from a souvenir shop and put it on this guitar. Paris, New York, Morella, Rye – wherever I am. It’s now the souvenir of my travels. I have played it live in London pub open nights and written some songs on it. It sounds great.

It’s a weird shape so I’m looking at options of how to get her home. I might need to pay for a custom guitar case. We’ll see.

I went one step further than a sticker with this guitar. I superglued a music box to the frame. It plays La Vie En Rose and the body of the guitar amplifies the sound quite nicely.

—

There’s no guitars I have my eyes on at the moment. Maybe one day – but right now I’ve lost the dream of owning a fuckload of guitars. I don’t go to guitar stores all the time anymore. I don’t use all my spare change on guitar strings.

God, there’s even a good chance I will never buy another guitar again. Is there a better sign that I’ve found my instrument?

02
Aug
2010

Italian restaurant

categories: poems

The girl from the Italian restaurant
Gives me a smile every time I go out for smoke.

We say silent “hi”s to eachother from afar
And I always give her my best smile back

And over the course of each smoke I try to catch a glimpse of her
And she does the same thing back

I know because we sometimes catch eachother
Looking at eachother
And we smile at eachother again.

I know nothing about her
Other than she works across from my building

And she is cute as a button
And she has a smile that makes me feel great and nervous

And she knows nothing about me
Except that I like to smoke

She counts how many, and holds up her hand to remind me
One, then two, then three so far

And I’m up for killing myself faster, four, five
To get a few more smiles a day.

I know we’ll never actually talk
I can’t imagine ever knowing her name

I don’t know why she started smiling at me
Yet I wonder why people don’t do it more

23
Jul
2010

30 for 30: Star Trek

categories: film, Television

10. STAR TREK

The cast of the original series of Star Trek

I watched and loved a lot of Star Trek. It’s not my favourite show ever, but has been with me for over half my life.

—

I’m a nerd! And not even the cool type of nerd that’s become hip. Fuck those pussies. I’m an actual nerd. And with that, comes Star Trek.

But the world conspired against me. It used to be on 4 nights a week when I was a teenager, and I usually slept in front of the TV anyway. It was, for several years, Star Trek followed by Letterman. This was how I grew up.

From age 12 or so, up until now. There’s simply no other show that has lasted this long. There are 725 episodes (across 29 seasons) and 11 films. So one and half times the Simpsons, and Star Trek were hour long episodes. Once I got in, how could I not be affected? It’s almost 800 hours of television!

—

I bring up Star Trek to stop people who I am bored with talking to me.

It’s pretty awful for anyone involved in the making of Star Trek, but I have often, very often, used Star Trek as a conversation killer. And sometimes a date killer.

OK, not so much a date killer. But sometimes you are talking to someone to see where they are at. And sometimes I come across cooler than I am – blame the job and the love of jokes. And when I realise I’ve wasted a drink or two talking to some girl I have no interest in, I bring up Star Trek.

It is pretty amazing how quickly the conversation stops. To most women, you’ve just turned into a slug or something.

It is even quite easy to do.

ALL you have to do is, when you’ve already started talking about stuff, say “Hey, you don’t watch Star Trek do you?”

It’s a beautiful line.

Because it looks like I am interested in furthering this connection. And the way I want to get to know you better is through Star Trek.

There are, as far as I’ve been able to determine, 3 reactions.

1) A quick dismissal. Maybe 3 or 4 more minutes of chatting, then next toilet, smoke or weak excuse break, our seats will be gone and we wont talk again.

2) A feigned (or genuine) interest. Basically the girl tries to engage in this conversation. This is a BOLD move on her part. She is going where no women drinking at this bar has gone before.

Oh, what do I like about it, you ask?

Well, I like the PREMISE. How it’s just a blank page for good writers to hang strong Sci-Fi IDEAS. (That goes down a treat with the ladies).

Oh you know Spock is Vulcan?

Actually, he’s a HALF Vulcan. (His mum was a human). (Girls love that line).

I’m not trying to be obnoxious really. This is just how I speak about nerdy stuff, that includes Trek.

Anyway, that soon ends.

3) The woman I am talking to is actually a Star Trek fan and we talk about Star Trek.

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED.

I have used this tactic over 100 times. Yes, part of it was when I discovered it, I tried it out a lot. But god, there are a lot of annoying women out there, and sometimes I just want to talk to my friends.

And never, ever once, have I met a female Star Trek fan in the wild.

—

I haven’t seen every second of Star Trek. But I’ve seen a lot of it.

The original 60s stuff with William Shatner? Check. Seen them all.

The Jean Luc Picard/Patrick Stewart stuff with the robot? Yup.

Deep Space Nine, the lesser known one with the black guy that everyone compared Obama to, in the comics and sci-fi world anyway? Yup.

Voyager, the one with the woman captain? Say maybe half of that.

Enterprise, the one with the guy from Quantum Leap (and the god awful Diane Warren song). Again about half.

I read some of the original novels. One of my favourite comic book writer – Peter David – wrote some great stories.

I’ve seen all the movies, although I only just saw the 10th one, after the 11th one came out.

But my interests waned. In school, when I watched anything and everything, I caught every episode. When Deep Space Nine was cancelled in 1999, my active interest died there too. Like comics, I took a break, and music took over my life completely.

—

I don’t know a terrible amount of people who like Star Trek at all.

James likes it because we both grew up with it. Casey likes it, I think for the same reason as me – it was on and we watched a lot of TV as teens. Nigel. Really, I am running out here. You either like it, or you don’t. And then there’s that 3rd level where you loved it.

A girl I liked had a housemate who was really into Trek – she was a girl too. She had Trek stuff in the house – a big stand up cut out of a character from memory. I didn’t know her very well, but I told her I liked Star Trek.

Funny though because she got defensive. A bit dismissive. Oh, that old thing. I wasn’t being patronising – I’m a fan – but I guess for her, she’s had to put up with a lot being a Trek fan. People make fun, patronise and flat out misunderstand.

Not that it really matters, but she was a very attractive girl as well. She would be by no means a social outcast. But she was in the fanclub or something, and hung out with a group where she can express her interest. I just wish that she would have talked to me – not so we could have talked, but that the world has made her hide.

In the UK, I’m not sure I’ve met one Star Trek fan. I know quite a few Americans though – it’s where the show was created, and it’s natural, cultural home. It is a bit of an American view of the future.

Which is all very odd, because so much of Star Trek is in popular culture. Phrases like “where no man has gone before” appear everywhere (like in the end of Almost Famous). “Live long and prosper.” 50% of Futurama is pretty much Trek. Like chess – I don’t understand how you can see this world without knowing the basics of Star Trek. What do you think when someone mentions Warp Speed or something? Do you walk through life like it’s one big joke you don’t get?

—

I was very excited when the new Star Trek movie came out. I saw Star Trek: First Contact in the cinema, and was pretty excited to revisit this world in a darkened cinema and a big screen.

Above I stated that there are over 750 hours of Star Trek. Well, that new movie would be in the top 20 hours of that 750.

Not a terrible amount happens, but it’s a fun action film with some cool ideas. But what really got me is the tone of the film. I really hated Dark Knight, and that dramatic, emo bullshit. I’m an optimist and the future is bright. And Star Trek, that new movie, was bright.

It is the main reason I love Star Trek. It is so optimistic. There is no drama within the crew. They work on each week’s threat together. People of all races and genders (even the odd robot or hologram) working together. As an immigrant in the country I grew up in, I was drawn to this.

I love the idea that maybe one day we will all get along and live these exciting lives. How can you not be?

So if for some reason you want to wade into this whole mess of Star Trek, the 2009 movie is the perfect place to start.

—

The single greatest question facing mankind is clearly this:

Which is better – Star Trek or Star Wars?

In the late 90s, Star Trek got very bloated. Movies, two TV series, books, comics, blah and blah. It was too much.

Star Wars however was still 3 perfect movies (and a number of really good books actually).

So Star Trek was easy to bash in the 90s, where Star Wars was a lot like James Dean – it left a pretty corpse, and it didn’t age.

Then Star Trek went away, and Star Wars got bloated. Those prequels are awful. Some of the worse films I’ve ever seen. Now there’s a cartoon and an upcoming live action comedy(?) series. Almost all of it is shit. And it really shows how limited the Star Wars idea was. It really had no more to give.

Star Trek however, came back with a very good movie. The memory of past fiascos are fading. What made Star Trek great in the first place still stands.

But Star Trek has never been great in movies. It’s a great premise (Stage Coach in space) and the perfect set up for a monster-of-the-week. Whereas Star Wars was one epic story, start to finish. We are comparing apples and oranges.

In the end though, I like Star Trek. All those amazing stories. 40 years of great ideas, swash-buckling adventure and cool gadgets. It just can’t be beat.

And Luke Skywalker is a whiny sook and the dude kissed his sister. What the fuck?

(Alex Zane did a poll once on XFM asking this very question. Almost every caller said Star Wars. Zane responded to several callers with “How about that bit in Wrath Of Khan where Kirk screams KHAAAAAAAAN?” and none of the callers had actually seen it. So if you’ve not seen it, your opinion is pretty worthless)

—

So, I have mainly avoided talking about the actual content of Star Trek. The intricacies of which characters I like, what season was best, etc. I think there is enough of that on the internet.

If for some reason, you are a Star Trek fan, and you came across this, here are my top 20 stories (movies and 2-parters count as one) of Star Trek.

1. Best of Both Worlds (TNG, 1990)
2. The Visitor (DS9, 1995)
3. Past Tense (DS9, 1995)
4. Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan (1982)
5. All Good Things (TNG, 1994)
6. Far Beyond the Star (DS9, 1998)
7. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)
8. The City On the Edge Of Forever (TOS, 1967)
9. Star Trek (2009)
10. Shattered Mirror (DS9, 1996)
11. The Doomsday Machine (TOS, 1967)
12. Crossover (DS9, 1994)
13. Mirror, Mirror (TOS, 1967)
14. Space Seed (TOS, 1967)
15. Descent (TNG, 1993)
16. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)
17. I, Borg (TNG, 1992)
18. Q Who (TNG, 1989)
19. Explorers (DS9, 1995)
20. Endgame (VOY, 2001)

Looking at this list really makes it hit home – I do love this show. So many great stories! So many ideas! Every week was something different. A time bending character study, or an all out action packed dog fight in space. All tied together with this wish of living better lives, working together, and leaving our predjudice and hate behind.

21
Jul
2010

30 for 30: Notting Hill

categories: places

9. NOTTING HILL

I lived around Notting Hill for 3 years. I was going to write a piece about London herself, but it’s West London and the Notting Hill surrounds that I will always remember.

—

I am currently not living there. After 3 years, I decided to move on. Most of friends have gone, and I wanted to try something different. I don’t regret it, but it’s not the best decision I’ve ever made. I miss it a lot.

Notting Hill is held together by Portobello Road – a long and winding road that goes from south to north. On the weekends it’s one of the best, busiest markets in the world. At nights it’s full of great pubs, restaurants and cinemas. At other times, it’s just a collection of flats, supermarkets and cafes. It’s a different thing at different times.

By luck, my job is in West London, so I tried to find a place to live near work. I found it in Ladbroke Grove, the next suburb up from Notting Hill, at the end of Portobello Road. From here, most mornings I would walk past the markets, and if it was a weekend I would soak in the shops and the atmosphere.

The place, even when packed with thousands of people, feels like home to me.

—

Portobello markets is the highlight. A million Saturday mornings spent going through it’s shops, and eating it’s paella. There were great record shops – the indie/famous Rough Trade, the 60s old school vinyl fanatics Minus Zero, and the soul/reggae shop Honest Jon (part owned by Damon Albarn).

For food, there are plenty of market stalls. Fantastic paella (with a slightly scary loud lady), excellent falafel rolls, nasty but sometimes necessary spicy German sausage to a little alleyway where some woman roasts a pig on a spit every Saturday. There’s always new ones too – I saw a Ghanan place the other day.

There’s plenty of sit down places too – the Electric, expensive and posh Italian at Osteria Basilico or Essenza, the best Thai in London at Market Thai. The Sausage And Mash Café is great for a hangover a50s chic décor, or the hidden away courtyard at Lazy Daisy. I have eaten myself mad on this street.

The shame is, there is no good coffee. London coffee is dodgy at best, so for a while I tried to support Progresso, a fair trade barista. But the coffee was so bad I had to spit it out, and I started going to Starbucks.

There are, however, a lot of pubs. From north to south – The Fat Badger, right in the Caribbean end of Portobello with a big open front room and comfy sofas. The Market Bar – always too crowded but a couple of great front-facing seats for people watching. The Castle – small but lovely, bar staff are wankers but we met a great group of people dressed up once. First Floor – my favourite bar that’s in the markets, right next to Rough Trade, people spilling out everywhere, clunky revolving doors, a million great memories. The Duke Of Wellington – the old man bar where I ran once after a heartbreaking night, to head into a conversation about continents. The Portobello Star – chic, charming, small bar that’s recently been prettied up. The Earl Of Lonsdale – cheap and with a big beer garden, many nights were spent in here, meeting lots of people. But if I had to choose one, it’s the Sun In Splendour –first shop south on Portobello. Quirky, great beer garden, best food – and it’s where Monty Python would drink and write the Flying Circus.

And that to the stalls that sells comics, CDs, vintage suits, old paperbacks, antiques, Hugh Grant’s Travel Bookshop, Jesse’s Western for old cowboy shirts – and more. Before I bore you with more details, just make a plan and visit it yourself.

—

Londoners are always fighting about what part of London is best. North vs South. East vs West. It gets kind of old. So I’m not going to go into why the West (where Notting Hill resides) is better than any other part of London. Except for one very important point.

Notting Hill is beautiful. Rows and rows of lovely terrace houses. Side street mews, and the wonderful All Saints Church just hidden away but over looking it all. It LOOKS like London from Paddington Bear cartoons. And, as with everything in my life, I usually go for the pretty.

—

As exciting as I find the place, people tell me I missed the golden days. The 50s brought with it an influx of Caribbean people – an influence that pervades the laid back, somewhat hippie culture of the area (and is best manifested in the yearly Notting Hill Carnival).

In the 60s, it was the home of Psychedelic rock. Pink Floyd, Cream and Hendrix all hung around there. Hendrix himself died in Notting Hill, in a hotel that is now a terrace building. The Electric, right in the middle of Portobello Road, was a famous avant garde cinema at the time.

Part of the reason for this was Notting Hill fell into disrepair. Large houses turned into artist slums. Leading well into the 70s, it was considered one of the worse areas of London. Clashes with police and the feeling of injustice led to Saint Joe Strummer, a local boy who created the Clash. In Strummer, I see all the great things about Portobello Rd and Notting Hill. An artistic life lived with passion. A mix of intellect and gut. World rhythms and white hot guitars. Politics and love intertwined. God, I love the Clash.

The 80s came Thatcher, and the slums and the bums were cleared out. Most of them were posers anyway, but the heart of the area stayed. Slowly it became neater, and the shops popped up. It became a buzzing part of new Britannia by the 90s – and was the home of Blur and Pulp. Jarvis Cocker wrote Common People about the influx of tourists and upper class types into the area.

Then came the Richard Curtis movie Notting Hill, which changed everything again. Now a worldwide postcard, Portobello was taken over by chain sneaker shops and expensive clothes. The danger has gone. It’s now one of the biggest tourist attractions in London.

But that Joe Strummer spirit is still there. The Portobello Film Festival isn anarchic and awesome. The street works together as a community. All peoples come together here, to dance, to kiss, to argue and to live.

—

A million memories flood my mind when I think of Portobello. Above and beyond the pubs – are the clubs. All of them mainly cool, and drinking spirits and dancing like a mad man to 70s funk. Be it Trailer Happiness or Notting Hill Arts Club. And walks home, buying more smokes, a bottle of water and sometimes instant noodles as well from the all night shops.

There were Sunday nights at the Coronet Cinema, mostly on my own, watching whatever indie film was on. The Hillgate, where Jay, Dan Ryan, Hampton and I ruled for months. The weird school where I took French lessons. I still get my haircuts from the South Americans on Golbourne Rd.

Many life changing scenes, both good and bad, occurred in Notting Hill. But that could be the amount of time I spent there. Many times I found myself walking down Portobello in the dead of night, and I have it all to myself. Friends made, girls kissed, girls lost, fights had, cans thrown, piss pissed, records bought, jokes told.

It’s where I think of when I think London. If any part of me is a Londoner, then I’m a West Londoner. Even if the whole place changes again, it will still be my London.

08
Jul
2010

30 for 30: Woody Allen

categories: film

8. WOODY ALLEN

Woody Allen as Isaac in Manhattan (1979)

I have loved the works of Woody Allen for many years. His personal life also makes me question how we treat our celebrities. But in the end, I see the world though Woody Allen’s movies.

—

Here’s something you should never do. Ask me to recite jokes from Woody Allen’s album Stand Up Comic. It’s a “best of” his vinyl only records of live stand up from his early nightclub years. It’s fantastic.

Most people know “the Moose”, but jokes like the Vodka Ad, Eggs Benedict and Bullet In My Breast Pocket are just as great. Woody Allen at his purest form – and early his career. Almost ten years before Annie Hall. But the persona was already there.

I have lots of good memories of listening to this album in my teenage bedroom in the dark. I had no idea about many of the references – Noel Coward, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Lily Pons – but loved the jokes.

(I actually owned it twice, accidentally. It was called Stand Up Comic and on Rhino in the US, but called Nightclub Years in the UK, on EMI. Thinking they were different, I bought both. Oh Internet, where were you then?)

1964 – the start of Woody Allen’s career, under his own name. It’s brilliant stuff.

I also found and loved Complete Prose, a collection of Allen’s short books in the 60s. Surreal, pun filled anecdotes – something he still does occasionally in publications like the New Yorker.

This long ramble is basically a setup so I can say one thing: Woody Allen is more than a filmmaker.

He’s made some amazing films, of course. But he’s a funny man. A writer. And actor. A musician! He’s Heywood Allen.

—

What’s your favourite Woody Allen movie?

It’s a common pub question amongst friends.

For me it’s Annie Hall (1977). It’s a common answer, followed by Manhattan (1979). Both are amazing films.

‘Annie Hall’ wins out for me. And it helped that when I saw it, I already had my heart broken once. It’s the greatest break up movie ever made. It’s still laugh out loud funny. Touching, sophisticated and made with absolute confidence… the story of Annie and Alvy touched millions, beating Star Wars for the Academy Award for movie of the year. Even thinking about them now as I write brings on a rush of bittersweet feelings – as if I’m reliving a past love of my own.

It’s had more influence on my life than any other movie. From the insightful comments of how we love – the “I wouldn’t want to be a member of a club that would have me” stuff. To wishing you could pull the director of a film when you get into useless arguments. Or trying not to sneeze when cocaine is around. A million memories and feelings fill this remarkable film.

‘Manhattan’ is just as good. Again full of iconic moments, but a love letter to the island as well. The kiss at the Rose Center to the carriage ride in Central Park, all leading to the final scene of Isaac running down Fifth Avenue. Whenever I run, or see running on film, I think of this scene. It has all the intelligence and heartache of Allen’s best work – but it’s by far his prettiest film to look at. There’s also a tremendous score.

Those are the big two that everyone should see. They have dated remarkably well. They created a new genre of film – the sophisticated talkie. And it defined a generation too.

—

But those are 2 films in career of over 40 films. I have seen almost all of them.

The public perception of Allen’s films are that they are variations of Annie Hall and Manhattan. He does have a house style (he’s used the same fonts and credit style since the beginning. He never pays anyone more that $10K for a film. Every major character has equal billing. Etc) but he’s made a wide array of films, many of which are great.

Before Annie Hall, Allen made these formless, almost Monty Python-esque screwball comedies. Like his stand up, they are clever and witty. And funny of course. Of these, ‘Love And Death’ (1975, a parody on Russian tragedies) and ‘Sleeper’ (1973, a sci fi comedy) are my favourites. Allen is always the star, playing a Charlie Chaplin like character, trying to not fall over in the worlds he’s created.

These straight comedies made Allen’s name. And every film comedian wanting to go serious cites Allen’s move from this stuff to the late 70s Annie Hall era.

The late 70s leading into the 80s is considered his golden period. Beyond the Big Two, there’s similar dramas like ‘Hannah And Her Sisters’ (1986, the tale of a large family over two years) and ‘Crimes And Misdemeanours’ (1989, exploring morality and justice). There were more comedies in this time too – ‘Broadway Danny Rose’, ‘Zelig’ and others. But it’s ‘Hannah…’ and ‘Crimes…’ that really standout in his career.

(There’s also an amazing movie, called ‘New York Stories’ (1989), that is three stories directed by Scorsese, Coppola and Allen – which you should see.)

Allen’s popularity waned in the 90s – but it was when I was coming of age. Many of these films were new and exciting. The early 90s were particularly strong – ‘Husband And Wives’ (1992, a telling rumination on marriage) and ‘Manhattan Murder Mystery’ (1993, where Allen pays tribute to Hitchcock) are considered some of his best work. Mira Sorvino won Best Supporting Actress in the overall fantastic ‘Mighty Aphrodite’ (1995), and the all star musical of ‘Everyone Says I Love You’ (1996) has bad singing but the film is sweet.

It was the late 90s when the controversy about Allen’s private life began to show. On film, he reacted with two of his nastiest films ever – ‘Deconstructing Harry’ (1997, a long damnation on trial by friends and media), and ‘Celebrity’ (1998, one of the biggest, bitterest fuck yous ever in cinema).

(Allen also appeared in the lead role of ‘Antz’ (1998), which gained him quite a bit of popularity).

The 00s were up and down, but Allen maintained his one-if-not-two movies a year schedule. It started off well, with a new deal with Dreamworks and a return to screwball comedy in ‘Small Time Crooks’ (2000, of a couple stumbling into a life of crime). Dreamworks pumped a lot of publicity power behind it, and it’s follow up ‘Curse Of the Jade Scorpion’ (2001, a fun detective caper).

Some truly daft comedies followed, but then came the magnificent ‘Match Point’ (2005, the start of his London films). It recalled his best 80s work, and the nihilism and unhappy endings, betrayal and lust. London was followed by Spain, the best is the recent ‘Vicky Cristina Barcelona’ (2008). I’ve yet to catch up on the three films he’s made since.

That is quite a track record. Who else has made twenty films I’ve loved, even if 20 of the others are average? Over 5 decades of filmmaking. It’s an amazing career.

So here, for my money, are the ten best Woody Allen films

1. Annie Hall
2. Manhattan
3. Crimes And Misdemeanors
4. Love And Death
5. Celebrity
6. Manhattan Murder Mystery
7. Hannah And Her Sisters
8. Husbands And Wives
9. Match Point
10. Small Time Crooks

—

Woody Allen’s life is surrounded by controversy. And it makes me question our relationship with art and reality.

Is Woody Allen just Alvy Singer, Isaac Davis and any number of his main characters? That nervous, neurotic, New York Jew – obsessed with women, death and god? So much of what appears on screen reflects Allen’s private life. Broken marriages, large age differences, fame and morality – all hallmarks of Allen’s private life.

If you ask Allen, as Terry Gross did on NPR last year – Allen denies his life in onscreen. He is a renown sports fan and has never been a loner – unlike the neurotics he portrays. He’s a musician, and a talented one. He has no problems getting up in front of a world audience at the 2002 Academy Awards and salute New York. Not things he’s characters can do – let alone shepherd almost 50 films.

So who is Woody Allen?

And can we ever know?

A person has to be more than their public persona. We’ve had hundreds of songs by Bob Dylan – but can you really say you know him because of that? Can we know any creator through art?

My opinion has changed over the years but right now I think it’s a no. I think every persona is a lie. And as many movies, songs, books, TV shows etc that I like – I know nothing of the people behind them.

From that – the question of authenticity is out the window. I don’t care that Sylvia Plath and Ian Curtis were ‘tragic’ figures, or that John Fogerty was not from the South. It’s all about the work – for me anyway.

But is there NOTHING we can learn of Woody Allen, the man, from Woody Allen’s films? I think there are glimpses. I think people give themselves away. But people change every second, and you can never hold anyone to it. Annie Hall, I would assume, was written and made in a period of heartbreak and vulnerability. But is it Allen’s, or his co-writer Marshall Brickman’s feelings on show? And we can freeze our minds and think of Allen as Alvy – but that’s like how James Dean will never overcome his persona.

There is more to people, which is my point.

How do I feel about Allen’s private life? I don’t understand it. I would not lead such a life. But it doesn’t affect my enjoyment of his work. I feel that way about almost all artists.

—

Woody Allen has always been around, but I know the exact thing that made me investigate his movies – in particular Annie Hall. It was Blur’s ‘Look Inside America’ and the wonderful lyric

Annie Hall leaves New York in the end
But press rewind and Woody gets her back again.

I loved this line, and so I got Annie Hall out on video and loved it. And I made my way through any film of his I could find at the local video shop.

Allen, in most video stores, falls under ‘art house’. And at Civic Video Belfield, art house was at the back, behind the curtain, with the ‘adult’ stuff. I actually had to get a guardian to go with me to pick out a film. My older brother’s girlfriend would be kind enough to take me, and she would marvel at porn titles at the other side of the room as I dug around non English movies to see if they had ‘Radio Days’.

I bought the books, the albums, and saw what I could at the movies. I read all I could online, in magazines and biographies – although most biographies are mean spirited hack jobs, highlighting the more tabloid side of his life. It took me ages to find the story of Annie Hall – how that was a 3rd of the intended film and how it was originally named Anhedonia.

Nowadays, most of his films don’t get a cinema release outside the US, or at least not for years. It’s getting a little harder to be a fan.

—

I think about art and creativity a lot. I have hundreds of theories about things, and one of them involves Woody Allen and Stanley Kubrick.

Woody Allen has made over 40 films, and 20 are great.

Stanley Kubrick made around 10 films, of which 10 are great.

Who is the better artist?

I think of artists like Neil Young who still pumps out an album a year. Not all are great, but there is a lot of great stuff throughout his career. Whereas Tom Waits takes his sweet time about it.

Bob Dylan wrote Like A Rolling Stone in 20 minutes. Leonard Cohen wrote Hallelujah over 12 years.

So there’s the Allen school, and the Kubrick school. And you can see it everywhere.

—

Allen is, of course, closely tied to New York. And when I am there, I always see the city from Allen’s eyes. It’s beautiful. I have sat at the 59th Street Bridge, on the bench on the poster for Manhattan – a poster I own a great print of.

I see Allen’s influence everywhere. Ricky Gervais apes his early career well, and Wes Anderson I guess knows his 80s stuff back to front. He captured the New York elite living – of Sondheim musicals, jazz, dinner parties and brownstone buildings.

But the biggest thing I carry around with me, that Woody Allen gave me, is to think about life. Is there a point to this? Do we enjoy what we can? Life is so fleeting, and people come and go. But the ground we are standing on is beautiful and don’t miss it. Women and love needs to be cherished and enjoyed while it lasts. And maybe it’s all a farce, and whatever works to get you through life is the best way to live it.

07
Jul
2010

30 for 30: Glasses

categories: random

7. GLASSES

I wear glasses.

—

Actually that’s a lie.

I mostly don’t wear glasses. My eye sight is not THAT bad, but I can’t pass your average eye test to get a license. Over the years I have learnt to live without glasses.

I find them uncomfortable. And maybe it’s because I don’t wear them enough, but I’ve never gotten used to it. They steam up, they feel weird when I smoke and are useless in the rain.

I also like looking people in the (fuzzy) eye. Something about wearing glasses makes me feel like I’m in fancy dress. I’m pretending to be the me that wears glasses. I take my glasses off when I meet people. I just feel like I’m lying to people otherwise.

But the real reason I don’t wear glasses is because usually I’ve lost them. Or broke them. I’ve gone through over a dozen pairs, some barely survive a month.

My latest pair, I got them two weeks ago. And over the weekend I left them in Cardiff, but managed to drive back and get them – 4 days later. And they are expensive, so once broken or lost, it could be years before I replace them. The ones I recently replaced, well those were lost in Berlin 8 months ago.

It’s a tempestuous relationship. They seem to always be trying to run away, or commit suicide. And I don’t like them that much anyway.

—

So many people I know have glasses. Many might not wear them all the time, but I don’t think it’s a minority thing.

Has years of monitor use destroyed a generation of eyeballs? I think maybe. Monitors have gotten better, but in the 90s, I spent almost all my spare time in front of a shitty little monitor. My whole age group did.

Even now, when I spend too much time in front of a computer, my eyes hurt. And the ones who carried that daily computer-staring over into office jobs? Well, we are a Glasses Army.

My Mum, Dad and my brother all wear glasses. Not all the time but we all have them. Our kitchen table are sometimes covered with them, along with wallets, keys and other pocket paraphernalia. So maybe it’s genetic? Does my family have weak eyes? Or maybe it’s racial – many Asian kids have glasses. Who knows.

But it’s funny to think, in school, being someone with glasses was not the majority. And of course, it left you open to hopeless jives of “four eyes” and whatever. But it’s been many years since I’ve heard someone being made fun of because they wear glasses. Even on TV or movies. It’s just over.

—

Why are glasses designs so shit? It’s another reason that my heart is against glasses. What people make, and what seems to be popular, doesn’t click with me.

There are these mad looking designs out there. Huge patterns and logos scarring what would be nice glasses. On my last hunt, I barely found anything I liked.

For many years, in school, I had very thin, almost invisible frames. I lost them immediately. $100 or so of my folks money – bam! Gone.

Later in my teens I got a spare pair – black rimmed ones. They stayed with me for almost a decade, when the more expensive, thinner ones came and went.

When I went back packing, I decided to take these spare, black rimmed things with me. I lost them. But I like the style now. Black frames – that’s me.

—

Of course, proper black frames are classic, aren’t they? It’s like a thin black suit. All across popular culture. Clark Kent. Buddy Holly. Elvis Costello. And personal heroes like Rivers Cuomo and the members of the band Sloan.

In culture, glasses have been historically a sign of weakness, I guess. But it’s also been a sign of smartness. I do sometimes wear my specs to feel smart (it doesn’t work).

There was a time, aged 17, in the heart of my obsession with the band Blur, wear I wore my glasses when playing in a band (I also wore a lot of adidas). They broke. And I hate wearing glasses when I play. Sweat always steams them up, and I sometimes hit my the microphone, scratching them. So I stopped that madness.

Which is a little bit of a shame. Look at people like Buddy Holly. And Costello. Those glasses are their icons. A Buddy Holly best of just needs to have the glasses on the cover. It could have been some defining thing. Now they live in a box on the shelf, taken out mainly when I go to the cinema.

No wonder they kind of hate me.

—

Someone asked Bruno once if they could try on his glasses once.

He replied, “Can I try on your bra?”

It’s a line I’ve stolen.

Glasses are not a toy. I don’t like passing them around. Don’t ask. Only if you’re a friend. And you have a similar or smaller head size to me. Thank you.

—

I like girls with glasses. I always have. Nerdy/smart girls. Although two people kissing with glasses on is weird. Even just the hello peck. I’m afraid I’ll hit something, and an airbag will explode over my eyes.

I did, because I was asked to, had sex once with my glasses on. So, here I am, a guy who finds glasses uncomfortable, makes him self concious and weird. Have a guess how that went.

—

So what about contacts? Or laser eye surgery? I don’t think my vision is that bad. And I’m used to it now. I don’t really work with my eyes anyway.

They are a pain. Whenever I move, I pick up my glasses and think – you! I have to pack you too! Bastards. They just sort hang about no matter what.

But it’s like a bad marriage I intend to stick with it. Whenever I go on trips, I have things that I know I need. Like toothbrush, keys, wallets and ipods etc. These dozen or so things I will always bring. And the glasses case is a part of that. It has been something I’ve been doing all my life. I can’t quit her now.

22
Jun
2010

Top 10s of 2010 (so far)

categories: music

It’s been a while between blogging. But lots of writing being done – just not so much the publishing.

So hence, a quick intermission.

Top 10 albums of 2010 (so far)

1. Laura Marling – I Speak Because I Can
(Virgin)

A huge leap from her already pretty great debut. A mournful album about growing up and womanhood, wrapped up in stories of timeless darkness. She mixes old time-y weirdness about husbands, devils and letters with stunning guitar playing and vocals. The name Joni Mitchell is bandied about a lot in reviews.

‘Women’ is not a genre, but it seems of late even the gals have forgotten that, with so many carbon copy pop stars out there. And here we have someone who doesn’t use her image (or her body) to sell her music. As she says herself – “There’s a mind under this hat“. That maturity is even more impressive when you take into account she wrote and recorded this album at age 19.

My favourite track by a long way is Goodbye England (Covered In Snow), and the singles so far are Devil’s Spoke and Rambling Man.

2. The Soft Pack – The Soft Pack
(Kemado/Heavenly)

This is turning into a year of great rock ‘n’ roll records, coming off several years of slim pickings. For me, the Soft Pack are leading the charge. Their sound is a perfect storm – short, catchy rock, great riffs, great voice, no excess. At 35 minutes, the album whizzes by at a pace, but the choruses and the hooks stick with you. It’s punk-y, it’s garage-y, it’s pop-py, it’s rock-y – it’s perfect.

This is a really easy album to fall in love with. It’s immediate and easy. Most people I play it for love it. Crackers like C’mon, Down On Loving and Answer To Yourself are hit songs. Then they even up the aggression on Pull Out. And then they pull it all back on the penultimate track, the laid back, sweet Mexico.

This still could be number 1 at the end of the year. I’ve been playing this non stop since February. Time will tell.

The film clip for Answer To Yourself features some of the cast from the movie Kick-Ass.

3. The Hold Steady – Heaven Is Whenever
(Vagrant)

The Hold Steady have made themselves one of my favourite bands in the last few years. They do that “rock and roll can save you” thing better than anyone else around at the moment. Craig Finn is a believer – spouting lyrics mainly about rock, drugs, girls and other important things like that. Their 5th album is as good as their past works – just listening to it makes me feel alive, and that life will be ok.

Heaven Is Whenever is a different beast than their earlier albums. The loss of the keyboard player brought the guitars forward, and with them come some stunning slow moments. We Can Get Together is the absolute highlight – mixing songs about heaven with the band Heavenly, and how that drummer died. But ending with the most quoted lyric in reviews this year

Heaven is whenever we can get together
Close your bedroom door and listen to your records

It’s poetic, it’s romantic and it rocks. It’s what these guys do best. From the opening kiss of The Sweet Part Of the City throughout a healthy portion of rockers (Hurricane J and Weekenders are the best of them), it shows a slightly new sound but the same old heart and soul. And I think of this band, and Craig Finn, and the more I think he’s right about everything.

4. LCD Soundsystem – This Is Happening
(DFA)

For me, Sound Of Silver was one of the 5 greatest albums of the last decade, and I wasn’t the only one. So the pressure was on for James Murphy, main man for LCD Soundsystem, and their 3rd album. They do an admirable job. Although it lacks some of the highs of Sound Of Silver, it’s still a fantastic record.

Drunk Girls divided people, but it was fun bubblegum garbage like Song 2. But the depth of Murphy’s songwriting is better expressed elsewhere. I Can Change, All I Want, You Wanted A Hit – sort of crap titles but Murphy is totally in charge of these dance pop numbers. The sounds, the lyrics, the moods, the feel – all spot on.

There’s the stuff that has made LCD Soundsystem so legendary – chaotic messes that somehow stick together like Pow Pow. Beautiful ballads like Home. It’s all here, and again, I’m still listening to this record, discovering new things.

5. Hot Chip – One Life Stand
(EMI)

I don’t know what happened in the lives of Hot Chip since their last record, but they are in love and not afraid to show it. Two great records so far were full of humour and cheeky fun. This record is something new – it’s straightfaced and affectionate. Sometimes you are waiting for the smartarses to reveal themselves but they never do.

In a way, the songs are the simplest they’ve ever been. It’s a pleasant record. If the beats weren’t just a little too hard, and the synths weren’t a little too loud, these could be teen pop songs. As they are, they keep that Hot Chip-ness. It’s just that it’s Hot Chip, the love balladeers.

And to boot – video of the year so far.

The rest of the top ten so far are:

6. Spoon – Transference

7. Vampire Weekend – Contra

8. Teenage Fanclub – Shadows

9. Dr Dog – Shame Shame

10. Surfer Blood – Astro Coast

Obviously a lot more will be written at the end of the year. And some of my favourite artists are coming up to bat – Belle & Sebastian and Darren Hanlon amongst them.

It’s been a great year so far. Many records are just bubbling under, and still have six months to prove themselves as well…

28
May
2010

30 for 30: Mojo Magazine

categories: books, music

6. MOJO MAGAZINE

Mojo Magazine (The Music Magazine) celebrates it’s 200th issue this month (Tom Waits cover). It is the only magazine that I collect. That is, I buy them AND I keep them. I’ve been buying them for almost 13 years now.

—

I am not going to write about music in this 30 for 30 column specifically. But I am going to touch on some related issues, like this one. It’s more about collecting a magazine for years on end.

I still see, all the time, people with the National Geographic in their living rooms. Dozens if not hundreds of them, with that yellow spine. What is with that magazine? Were subscriptions super cheap? And people keep them – how often do they re-read them?

I’m not even sure if I’ve ever read one article in National Geographic in my entire life.

But there is something I really love about seeing magazines on a shelf. Metres of shelf space. The matching spines. The OCD part of me goes wild about it.

I think it’s a dying culture – the magazine you keep. The National Geographic. The New Yorker. Mojo. Major, timeless journalism vs contemporary events. I really think that people of my age will be the last generation to do this.

—

First Mojo I ever bought was issue 46. Funnily enough, Radiohead were on the cover. It was Campsie Centre, and in Australia we get Mojo Magazine about two months later than the UK, so it would have been November 1997.

I was buying anything and everything to do with music. And I remember seeing this magazine with Achtung Baby written across it, and a photo of four weird looking guys. Now, I know Achtung Baby is a U2 album, but those guys on the cover were not U2. What the hell? What is this Mojo?

So that cover stuck with me (it was issue 41). Years later I discovered it was Kraftwerk. The next month the newsagent had another weird one. John Lennon – looking uncool and almost dead. It was so different from Rolling Stone, Juice, Recovery Magazine and all that.

So finally by 46, I caved and bought the issue. Everyone was talking about Radiohead. It was a way into this magazine. And I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand half of it. I knew very little of the bands discussed. But as usual, I saw it as a challenge.

I bought the occasional Mojo from then on, but didn’t get it month to month until around 65. By then I was all across the Nick Drakes and the Zombies of the world.

You can see the covers discussed here

—

Doug Thomas was the first person I ever met with a complete collection of Mojo Magazines. Doug is a legend in the Australian indie records scene, having worked behind the counter at some of the best record shops Adelaide and Perth had to offer.

I was friends with his daughter, the talented Stina Thomas (now a solo artist in Perth). Anyway, that first trip to Perth, visiting friends, was great and not relevant to this other than seeing Doug’s complete set of Mojos. I don’t know what about me sees stuff like that and decides I want it too. Something about conspicuous consumption speaks to my heart. I can still see it now – the bottom row of this shelf in the Thomas household.

So that’s always been the aim. The complete set. I have managed to find old Mojo magazines in various thrift stores, second book shops, Oxfams and dusty record shops. I am still a fair way off a complete set.

The oldest Mojo I have is 9. The Clash are on the cover.

Is it odd that I hunt down old magazines? Maybe. I do have a problem with stuff like this. Collecting weird stuff. I do read them though. And hey, people collect stamps. So I can do this.

—

Why Mojo? Why not National Geographic?

The obvious answer is music. Mojo was the music magazine and nothing else. But there is something timeless about it. Or maybe more accurately – the consistently dated quality.

It just set the scene for me, regardless of what trends were going on. Take for example, issue 75. The lead article (really, like the LEAD ARTICLE and COVER) was a profile on four bands.

1) The Velvet Underground in their least popular period

2) The then-unknown Big Star

3) Fred Neil. I mean do you, even today, know who Fred Neil is?

4) The La’s. Yes, the weird one hit wonders that were the La’s.

Before the internet, Wikipedia, Allmusic and all that, this was my education into weird, old music.

That issue was over ten years ago and I still know what I learnt from that issue. If that gives you an indication of how good the writing is.

I guess it was around this time Michael Lock, a great music journalist, introduced me to Lester Bangs and other great rock writers. I started to appreciate Rock Journalism as a thing of it’s own. Michael never wrote album reviews, but he wrote profiles on bands. I know writers who do the reverse. The art of music writing was studied here, by me.

But everyone cool I know bought Mojo. Musicians. Record shop people. Scenesters. It was our bible. I remember Michael telling me about a t-shirt that Evan Dando had, that Gram Parsons wore once. And he just went to my shelf, picked out the right Mojo issue (56, Massive Attack) and showed it to me.

So Mojo was my ticket into that old man rock world. In my life, I’ve never had a problem meeting older men who can tell me about unreleased David Bowie tracks.

—

I buy Mojo anywhere and everywhere. Mostly I bought them for an extra $5 in record shops, to get them around the same time as the UK. For many years, the ritual was to buy it at Egg Records in Newtown, then walk over to café for a big breakfast, or dinner at Happy Chef.

Pretty much every Mojo I have has a few oil splatters, or tomato sauce specks. My memories of reading Mojo Magazine is tied to food, and eating out and by myself.

With this week’s, 200th issue, I did what I normally do. Instead of heading home, I deliberately stopped for food (a cheap and excellent laksa from Tuk Tuk, Baywater). Just on my own, read the magazine as I ate.

In fact, I clearly remember eating at the Happy Chef for the 100th issue. It was one of the few issues where the cover wrapped around, so I was being extra careful. But usually my copies are a bit battered around.

The second hand old ones I buy almost always has a blank crossword. Who is leaving these blank? I always do the crosswords and usually underline and write all over other bits as well.

I buy Mojo anywhere I am. I’ve bought one in Copenhagen (157). And recently in Oxford (199). I have never missed an issue this decade, no matter where I am and what I’m doing.

I have 70 or so issues here in London, and 100 or so in Australia. I can’t wait to unite the collection.

—

Other magazines have come and gone. No Depression ceased publication in 2008, calling an end to a 7 year relationship. I loved Chunklet magazine, but they put out an issue every two years – if you’re lucky.

Magazines like Q, Empire and Rolling Stone got too bogged down in current trends for me. I liked them for years, but they are more for current news than to keep for the ages. I’ve flirted with Record Collector. Dated Classic Rock. Performing Songwriter. Word. But I keep coming back to Mojo. I don’t even question the quality of it anymore. It’s become part of my life.

I would LOVE to find a film magazine that has the quality of journalism like Mojo.

—

So the aim in life now is to be a writer. And that could well mean writing about music.

I wrote about music in a Sydney street press column for years. I produced radio. I love talking about music. And Mojo definitely fueled that fire. It would be amazing to write for Mojo. It’s like when I played in a band and hosting Rage was the goal. Or maybe just have a letter published.

But that will probably never happen and it doesn’t matter. I will still be reading it. Hopefully the decline of magazines will be kind to Mojo, and I will be having a laksa, sitting down with the 300th issue in September 2018.

26
May
2010

Food World Cup 2010 – 1. FRANCE

categories: food

1. FRANCE

Chez Kristof
111 Hammersmith Grove
London W6 0NQ
website

So begins Food World Cup 2010!

It wasn’t actually supposed to start just yet, but I some time yesterday doing research and organising company for food adventures. And that night, I happened to be going to a nice restaurant with my work colleagues – both from my team and internationally. It was a great meal, and so why not kick off?

The place is Chez Kristof on Hammersmith Grove, in Hammersmith. The road is a little hidden away from the hustle and bustle of Hammersmith. It’s one of those pretty, leafy streets that I love about West London. The cuisine is French.

In London, we are spoilt for French food. They are everywhere. Most trendy restaurant areas have a Cote, a chain of French restaurants. There’s actually one right outside my office building, and we frequent it a lot. There’s Bloody French in Westbourne Grove and my favourite Bar Du Marche in Soho. Of course, most people just catch the train to Paris.

Which is a long way for me to say I skipped the French delicacies like Steak Tartare over other things, because I was quite hungry.

For starters, I ordered the Crab Linguini. Not particularly French, but it was lovely. Some of us ordered the Steak Tartare – which I normally LOVE.

Everyone who had it thought the Steak Tartare was lovely. It looked very fine – I’m used to it being a bit more chunky. What I really loved though, was the egg that came with it, actually presented in half an egg shell.

For mains, I went for the Middlewhite Pork. It came in a lovely Prune sauce, and a side of spring greens. The pork had a whole inch of fat on it – Fabian who ordered the same had to skip it. It’s pretty full on. The crackling was like metal. Which is actually how like pork belly.

I really don’t know how French the meal I had was. But it is what French dining in London is like. It’s quite a posh dining experience, and they use British produce. I don’t know if I’ll ever go to Chez Kristof again – it’s expensive and has that generic posh dining atmosphere. Not really my thing if I had a choice. But lovely regardless.

This is the first time I’ve really tried blogging about food, having been reading food blogs for a long time. I need to take better photos, and keep a better eye on the menu. I don’t know what the red wine we had was – and maybe that tells you how good it was. I mean, can you really go wrong with a French Red?

One down, 31 to go.