I’m falling through the walls into a burning heap
I’m sliding down, my timing’s gone, my legs asleep
The wind it blows right in my soul it rains for weeks
Is this a good or bad thing?
This life is long it stretches on the hours drag
I only ever help you when you’re feeling bad
Is this a good or bad thing?
I want to dig my nails into the fairest skins
You say it’s something guys just wouldn’t understand
And I really don’t mind at all
A bit of mystery is fine
She wears her heart on her singlet top
Dries up sometimes, sometimes it’s dropped
Issues that arise from having a fuck buddy
Issues that arise (written in the style of Dave Eggers, who’s book I’m currently reading):
1) ISSUE OF WHY DON’T WE JUST GO OUT
Is it because your last two boyfriends had goaties? But we like eachother, we go well together, but let’s not tell anyone. Great for the self esteem.
1a) ISSUE OF YOUR FRIENDS ASKING YOU IF YOU ARE GOING OUT
and wanting to reply with, no but we’re fucking though.
2) ISSUE OF WANTING TO BE IMPORTANT TO THAT PERSON ANYWAY
So, am I really allowed to ask someone else to go with me to Gershwin in the park? No, cos we’d be fucking and you love Gershwin, even though I want to go with another girl.
3) ISSUE OF LOSING MY FRIEND I TALK ABOUT SEX AND WOMEN WITH
Really. Who do I talk to now.
4) ISSUE OF NOT REALLY WANTING TO HEAR ABOUT HER EXPLOITS WITH BOYS ANYMORE
I mean, look at me, how can she be even looking around with such a fine catch at her fingertips? Not worth thinking about.
5) ISSUE OF EXPLAINING ALL THIS TO PEOPLE CLOSE FRIENDS ALSO IN THE CIRCLE
Some people I can’t lie to.
6) ISSUE OF FALLING BACK ON THE EASY ROOT AND LEADING TO NOT MEATING PEOPLE
If you know you’re going to meet up with someone at 1, spending the hours of 8-12:59 talking to someone new and pretty is diminished. Horrible, yes? But if it’s any other time of day. But let’s face it, it’s friday, you’re tipsy, you’re pretty, work has been shit, I want to root. So I’m sorry if that sounds crass and hey if I get nowhere (most nights) fine, but if I have someone I can fall back on…
7) ISSUE OF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP ANYWAY, REALLY
You need to keep food in your fridge they like, express more interests in their lives, etc etc…you basically have to make sure you get along all the time. Yet be casual. Cos you’re not that emotionally invested to be fighting BUT YOU ARE because you share emotional space.
8) ISSUE OF ME OVER THINKING AND FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE IN MOST SITUATIONS INVOLVING WOMEN ANYWAY
Really. It’s best if we don’t talk.
Isn’t it terrible that when you feel bad
Is the only time we make you feel good?
The saga continues…
Dear PHG
Just when I think I know where I stand with you, I don’t anymore. Which is kind of nice. I don’t know what to do with the rest of that garlic but the kitchen smells nice, aroma-ry, and I delayed doing the dishes for the rest of the day cos the pretty smell on the dirty pots and pans reminded me of you long after you left.
I did end up doing the dishes last night around midnight, on the phone to a friend in the UK telling her all about another girl, and forgetting about you, as I was scrubbing down food crap on the plates. Yes the symbolism is deliberate there.
Bill.
What can I say
That can make this go away
Make this day erase
And make everything ok
What can I do?
Is there a book of rules
That might leave a clue
To returning the sky to blue
The night is not young anymore
You’re still drunk but not like before
And all your friends just serve to make you bored
But if you want
You can knock on my door
On any night, at anytime
But I can’t promise I’ll untie
Any knots that are caught inside
But if you like
I’ll turn off your mind
Throwing kisses
At hopless princes
Who never listen
To whispered wishes
I’m not saying
I’m any different
I’m always distant
I keep my secrets
But no more talking
No more talking.
We’ve been careful with the roll of the dice
Avoiding all snakes, one step at a time
What topic would you like to settle for?
Something safe like arts and literature?
I feel like Monopoly car I’m dying to race
But my shakey Operation hand might give it all away
It could all collapse like I’m the mouse
Is it your turn or mine to see how this will turn out?
Checking the score, checking the time, the rules
Checking the pieces left, checking your moves
That word was impressive you score high
You’ve almost masterminded what I’m trying to hide
So what are we going to do with this Knight?
Our queens are gone, the endgame’s nigh
I think I can Guess Who you are in actual fact
I concede let’s leave this game and not look back
This is the last time you get to say that to me
I must be over you
Like a young girl over blue
Like Levon over boos
Like detectives over clues
Like chord change over used