I have often, often thought about the last hours of Ian Curtis.
Of him just sitting there and looking into the future
Of watching the TV alone as the world turned again
Of another day ahead of another day behind
Of not wanting to ever to do anything at all ever again
And how hard that is to actually do
And then actually doing it.
There’s an Australia that I’ll never know
Of Lismore and Lindy
And a tradition all it’s own
Unfettered by the immigrant culture
That I’m afraid is never going to be
And when they update the Nostradamus Kid for the kids
The witness’s in the Bob Ellis sense
Will be wearing a Chicago Bulls singlet
Or Italian shoes.
Dear lovely new person in my life who has a boyfriend and is happy and all that
Just wanted to send a message to the world that you are lovely and I love the way you laugh so much and get so much out of things and you laugh at my horrible jokes and you try and get me into great music I’ve never heard. I know you have a wonderful boyfriend who sounds like he’s just what you need and I don’t want any of your time or anything. I think it’s just been a long time since I met someone who reminds me the world is hidden with wonderful people. God you laugh so much how do you find time to breathe? I love your quirks and if I was a younger less bitter and hateful person I probably would have been madly in love with you. As it is, I think you’ve help me noticed something in me that maybe hasn’t been there for a bit. You got it all girl, and it’s awesome that I know you. It’s been a long time since I’ve looked forward to seeing someone, in hopes of finding out more about them.
Bill.
For Vina
Piss on the cliches
Your friends will bring around
as if it were ice cream and DVDs
like “It’s all for a reason”
and “it’s a learning experience”
or “I know how you feel”
Because they really don’t
No one does me included
You’ve just listened to too many
Bedroom acoustic poets
Who’ve put in such great words
The feeling of their own
That may run parrallel
But not in front or behind
But so easily wraps around you
And whatever it is you feel
But don’t take it to your broken heart
Cos in all the ways of history
This event has never happened before
And no rules exist on how you’re to deal with it
So do whatever you feel like
Take the pain like the brave girl you are
I’m sorry for your lost
I’m ears if you need me
But that Jeff Buckley record’s going to kill you
With a hurt that isn’t yours
And no cliches apply here
So you’ll learn whatever you’ll want to learn
And take your own path to OK
I’ve already been broken in two
So I can’t be loved
I don’t know what I want to do
So I can’t be loved
There’s a world I’m dying to see
So I can’t be loved
No I can’t be loved
I don’t want anyone crying for me
So I can’t be loved
No I can’t be loved
By anyone
I don’t want to turn out like my dad
So I can’t be loved
No I can’t be loved
I’ve played this part before I kow how it ends
So I can’t be loved
No I can’t be loved
By anyone
I’ve been thinking about
Why it didn’t work out
I guess it’s not you it’s me
I’m good for a night
But I’m no good for your life
Come closer and you’ll see
I can’t be loved
This morning I woke up on your good side
I was making good time
I didn’t do anything wrong
Now I turn up and it turns out you hate me
Am I going crazy?
I didn’t do anything wrong
I didn’t do anything
Baby you know I’ve had it
You’re so erratic
I should have paid more attention in mathematics
Cos girl you don’t add up
Girl you don’t add up
Stare at my working out just to try and work you out
So we spend the day not talking
It feels like we’re boxing
With silence and stares
This morning we were doing fine
Now I’ve crossed a line
I didn’t even know was there